Boredom

I thought I'd never blog again- but boredom has driven me to do it.. I'm now in London- stuck on the 23rd floor of a huge modern building-Citigroup Centre. My seat faces the glass walls of the building and in between my work, I stare down at the ground below. Sometimes the ground seems strangely tantalising. It's not just the utter loneliness I feel now that makes me feel so- beneath the mindnumbing fear that the height generates, there is also a strange urge to just let go and fall. I wish it were that simple.

Sometimes I wonder if there really is anything that could make me happy with my life. What is it that I really really want?

I stay all alone in a studio apartment of my own. I do not have a television. Nor do I have a music system. Nor do I have any friends here. But somehow, time seems to fly past. Before I even knew it, days have melted away into weeks, and weeks into months. I seem to think that postponing the inevitable is the only option I have now. And I also know deep down inside me, that that's wrong.

I'm sure that this post does not make any sense to anyone who reads it. But then, who said I have to make sense?